Some postman

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<<audio rip2 stop>> It's 6am and the sun is getting high. <div class="center">[[Get out of bed|start]]</div> <<set $sus to 1>> <<set $happiness to 10>> <<set $days to 0>>

You collect <<set $letters to $letters + random(13, 20)>> $letters letters, of which <<set $lovenotes to $lovenotes + random(2, 12)>> $lovenotes are love notes. You can tell <<print either("by the hearts drawn on the outside!", "by the fact it's doused in perfume!", "because they used pink envelopes!", "because they've dotted their i's with love hearts!")>> You feel the rush of excitement as you hold it in your hands... More love notes no one will get! <div class="center">[[What are you going to do?|steal]]</div>

<<print either("Out of the $lovenotes love notes you have aquired, how many are you going to steal?", "Now you have collected all $lovenotes love notes, how many do you intend to keep?", "The easy part is done! The hard part is how many of the $lovenotes love notes will you take?")>> <div class="center"><<print either("[[All of them|3sus]]", "[[All of them|3sus witness]]")>> <<print either("[[Some of them|2sus]]", "[[Some of them|2sus witness]]")>> <<print either("[[Just one|1sus]]", "[[Just one|1sus witness]]")>> <<print either("[[None|0sus]]", "[[None|0sus witness]]")>></div>

<<print either("Daring today, aren't you! Let's hope you don't get caught stealing all $lovenotes love notes...", "That's some confidence you have in your pickpocketing skills! Be careful out there...")>> You deliver none of the $lovenotes love notes, but you do post the remaining <<print($letters - $lovenotes)>> letters before retiring from work for the day, ready to do it all over again in the morning. <div class="center">[[Go home|start]]</div> <<set $happiness to $happiness + random(2, 5)>> <<set $sus to $sus + random(2, 5)>>

<<print either("Not too little and not too much, that's the secret!", "You don't fancy pushing your luck, but you do fancy more love notes...")>> You deliver some of the mail and retire from work for the day, ready to do it all over again in the morning. <div class="center">[[Go home|start]]</div> <<set $happiness to $happiness + random(1, 4)>> <<set $sus to $sus + random(1, 4)>>

<<print either("You're a cautious one, but you're still going to take 1 love note!", "You're quite optimistic, you'd bettermake that 1 love note count!")>> You deliver <<print($letters - 1)>> letters and retire from work for the day, ready to do it all over again in the morning. <div class="center">[[Go home|start]]</div> <<set $happiness to $happiness + random(0, 3)>> <<set $sus to $sus + random(0, 3)>>

<<print either("The best way to not get caught stealing is not to steal I guess, but it does make you a little sad.", "Today you have avoided temptation, but at what cost? Happiness, happiness is what it cost you.")>> You deliver all $letters of the letters, including all $lovenotes of the love notes and retire from work for the day, ready to do it all over again in the morning. <div class="center">[[Go home|start]]</div> <<set $happiness to $happiness - random(1, 4)>> <<set $sus to $sus - random(1, 4)>>

<<set $days to $days+1>> <<set $letters to 0>> <<set $lovenotes to 0>> <<if $sus gte 10 and random($sus, 30) gte 20>>You get up and go to work. It's day $days of your employment as a postman. You clock in and head over to your slot, but there is no mail in there... In fact, it's awfully quiet. Suspiciously quiet... <div class="center">[[What is going on?|busted]]</div> <<elseif $happiness lte 0>>There will probably be mail in the slot, but what's the point? I'm not happy, might as well not turn up to work, might as well not do anything... <div class="center">[[Don't bother|fired]]</div> <<elseif $sus lte 0>>You get up and go to work. It's day $days of your employment as a postman. You clock in and head over to your slot, but there is no mail in there... Your manager comes over to talk to you. "Hello," they say, "so we've noticed your work ethic in recent times, it's quite applaudable and in fact you are not suspicious at all! As such, we have decided to promote you to a managerial position, where you wont be delivering mail, love note or otherwise! What do you say?" <div class="center">[[I'll take the promotion!|promotion]] <<print either("[[Thanks, but no thanks.|slotsus]]", "[[Thanks, but no thanks!|busted]]", "[[Thanks, but no thanks?|fired]]")>></div> <<else>>You get up and go to work. It's day $days of your employment as a postman. You clock in and head over to your slot, and it looks like there is some mail in there! <div class="center">[[Pick up the mail|slot]]</div> <</if>>

<<print either("The best way to not get caught stealing is not to steal I guess, but it does make you a little sad. At least the witness saw you commit no crimes whatsoever.", "Today you have avoided temptation, but at what cost? Happiness, happiness is what it cost you. Happiness and an alibi from the person watching you absolutely not steal any love notes.")>> You deliver all $letters of the letters, including all $lovenotes of the love notes and retire from work for the day, ready to do it all over again in the morning. <div class="center">[[Go home|start]]</div> <<set $happiness to $happiness - random(1, 4)>> <<set $sus to $sus - random(0, 3)>>

<<print either("You feel like stealing just the 1 love note would be less likely to raise awareness but somebody catches you putting 1 love note away in your bag.", "Thinking about reading this singular love note fills you with joy, so much joy that you completely ignore the person staring at you from their front garden.")>> You deliver <<print($letters - 1)>> letters and retire from work for the day, ready to do it all over again in the morning. <div class="center">[[Go home|start]]</div> <<set $happiness to $happiness + random(0, 3)>> <<set $sus to $sus + random(1, 4)>>

<<print either("Someone is loitering near you but you don't seem to notice, as you take some of the love notes with hearts on the outside.", "You weren't pushing your luck by choosing to steal fewer love notes but you've pushed your luck somewhat by doing it in plain sight of a witness in front of you.")>> You deliver some of the mail and retire from work for the day, ready to do it all over again in the morning. <div class="center">[[Go home|start]]</div> <<set $happiness to $happiness + random(1, 4)>> <<set $sus to $sus + random(2, 5)>>

<<print either("You see someone standing across the street, like the're a witness or something, but it doesn't stop you from pinching $lovenotes love notes...", "Some old curtain twitcher peeps you from their window, but you don't pay it any mind as you steal all $lovenotes love notes.")>> You deliver none of the $lovenotes love notes, but you do post the remaining <<print($letters - $lovenotes)>> letters before retiring from work for the day, ready to do it all over again in the morning. <div class="center">[[Go home|start]]</div> <<set $happiness to $happiness + random(2, 5)>> <<set $sus to $sus + random(3, 6)>>

<<audio rip2 play>> You take the job, congrats!.. But as such you no longer have access to letters, love note or otherwise, thus you cannot commit grand theft love note. Your grooving days are over... <div class="center"><img src="images/congrat.jpg"></div> //Scores// Suspicion level: $sus Happiness meter: $happiness Days before being promoted: $days <div class="center">[[Try again?|some postman]]</div>

<<audio siren play>> ... <div class="center"><p class="p1">It's a sting! You've been busted for stealing too many love notes! Believe it or not... jail.</p> <img src="images/jail.jpg"></div> //Scores// Suspicion level: $sus Happiness meter: $happiness Days before incarceration: $days <div class="center">[[Try again?|some postman]]</div>

<<set $sus to $sus + random(1, 7)>> The manager looks at you suspiciously... nobody in their right mind would give up this opportunity! But he sets you tasks anyway and he hands you <<set $letters to $letters + random(13, 20)>> $letters letters, of which <<set $lovenotes to $lovenotes + random(2, 12)>> $lovenotes are love notes. You can tell <<print either("by the hearts drawn on the outside", "by the fact it's doused in perfume", "because they used pink envelopes", "because they've dotted their i's with love hearts")>>, but you don't tell your manager that! You feel the rush of excitement as you hold it in your hands... More love notes no one will get! <div class="center">[[What are you going to do?|steal]]</div>

<<cacheaudio "siren" "music/siren.wav">> <<cacheaudio "fired" "music/homer-simpson.mp3">> <<cacheaudio "rip" "music/rip.mp3">> <<cacheaudio "rip2" "music/rip2.mp3">> <<cacheaudio "groan" "music/groan.mp3">>

<<audio groan play>> The manager hears about your lack of enthusiasm and prompty fires you. <div class="center"><img src="images/fired.jpg"></div> //Scores// Suspicion level: $sus Happiness level: $happiness Days before getting fired: $days <div class="center">[[Try again?|some postman]]</div>